She said I was really immature but whatever...oh by the way we just bought a toilet and turned it into a beer bong so come over
Would you let Jessica Biel poop in front of you to see her naked...but you have to wipe her too?
he just tried to lick my eyebrow. thats the deal breaker.
Well its official I'm an idiot. I made out hardcore with an employee last night in our banquet room. Oh and got wasted at work. Oh and showed my staff squirrel on a trampoline.
Family of uber douches all wearing ed hardy in a hummer taking up 2 parking spots at starbucks. Please be more cliche
Apologies for hacking your facebook and posting that picture of you passed out hooked up to the IV...but we were sat with you on the ER floor for 3 hours, it got boring
He told her hed rather go bobbing for apples in puke than have sex with her.
You need to stop thinking about the needs of your vagina and concentrate on the greater good
Antibacterial soap and prayers does not for spermicide make
It was so small.
Tiny. Got to love sexting. Imagine finding out the old fashioned way.
I'm recreating the you're a wizard harry video with a guy on snapchat whilst having snapchat sex with another... Adulting is fun
In fairness you've introduced me to a lot of people I've only met once, for like 5 seconds, while drunk
I'm not sure what happened last night but my dog has a red cup taped to his back with a little beer and a ping pong ball in it..
We invented a new game.
We have sober sex! It's a real relationship.
In honor of Randy Savage we're wearing spandex and handing out slim jim's with option to suplex. Get behind it
Randomize
