your thong is hanging out like whoa
So I said to her: one time i broke my dick and when they took off the cast i could cum across a baseball field
Not good, Ive never been this late. We need to talk.
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she peed on how many people?
He was like a Bill Nye the science guy of sex....he was telling me things about my clitoris that I didn't even know
Ya I got a cut on my head from the toilet seat last time I drank there.
You refused to get in the cab so we rock paper scissored to decide who walked you home and the fat guy was it. So don't blame your poor hook-up choice on me; it was all you.
Suddenly I feel like all I did this summer was have sex in our apartment
I grinded with the guy who brought the scooter, I'm leaving with success
you kept saying how you wanted to mainline bacardi right into your bloodstream. medical school is doing wonderful things to your brain
Sincerely. Thanks. You could have thought of anyone sitting on your face but you chose me. :)
no it was
but you compared your dick to a female disney character
Unless you count my weekly workout where I drink wine, listen to obscure/cheesy records, and pretend I'm a ballerina...no. I don't exercise.
just ran into my father at CVS while buying condoms...he winked at me. I really need to move out of this town.
She was a cheerleader in college and President of her sorority and now she’s a sales rep for a pharmaceutical corporation. “High maintenance hot” doesn’t even begin to explain it
But dear lord is it worth it
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