I'm still reeling over the fact that you beat us all at Risk while you were flat on your ass drunk and falling asleep on South America.
dude,it's memorial day.not getting wasted=you're a terrorist
She compares her life to Teen Mom. She's 28.
If I'm gonna go to jail I'm gonna be wearing a poncho
Had no idea what his name was when I woke up. Went through his desk, found his tax records. Ben. And loaded.
I have no idea. There are 6 asians singing hey soul sister to me right now.
Romney sounds like a middle school girl and that creepy ass smile makes me want to close my blinds
I dont think I should be allowed to pick my own boyfriends anymore
is anything happening tonight?? I'm soooo in need of a tasteful and healthy bender.
We got a standing ovation as security was escorting us out of the ballpark, it was a proud moment
You owe me beer. On another note, I made out with the ups guy at work today ....
We were cuddling in his bed and I asked him a question and followed by making a microphone with my hand and told him to speak into it. If he never talks to me again that's probably why.
You passed out in my backseat like a legitimate infant. A really drunk, really horny infant
He had been licking my nipple for like 5 minutes and it wouldn't get hard. He asked me to lick my own and when I did, instant hardness. I realized I'd rather have sex with myself then this guy ..
duddde i wasn't even home last night and someone elses clothes are on my floor and there glow sticks everywhere?!
Randomize
