She can't keep using her latex allergy as an excuse to go bareback with everyone.
He finally admitted that he was drunk when I asked him how he got the rug burn on his chin and he replied "the worm contest"
I'm wearing cowboy boots and showing way too much cleavage to be in a place with no jaeger.
he's gonorrhea incarnate
Well since your going through her phone..look man she loves you..she just loves my dick more
My mouth is so dry that I'm about to put a straw in a jar of Vaseline and chug. This all addi diet definitely has its ups and downs.
our next stoner-chievment: cream of shroom soup. Get over here, this is happening!
You cant use biscuit as a chaser
My mom has a bong in her bathroom, but no air freshener.
Also, there's definitely not a non-hilarious way to ask to stick something up your butt.
Over 14,000 people at my school and the kid I went home with last night is IN MY FUCKING LECTURE
I woke up in a front yard I didn't recognize to a grandma tapping me with her foot. What was in that punch?
Well I just had a flashback of something I did in the 4th grade. Now I can't go back to sleep.
Do u think the bouncer will let me in with a giant stuffed snake?
Can you imagine doing supermarket sweep in a sex store? What's the sex store equivalent of a whole ham?
Randomize
