her vagine was all disorganized.
Dude sorry i couldnt seem to spell any words right in the texts i sent you last night
I felt like a fucking code breaker.
This cougar at my work just said "big breasts" referring to poultry... Still resulted in a boner.
I'm starting therapy this week.. Taylor Swift music isn't cutting it for me anymore
You're the 8th person from last night to text me this morning and ask if I'm ok.
Sweetie, don't go home with him. You can do so much better. Everyone else at the bar agrees.
There's not an emojicons for I think I ripped my asshole and want to die.
It's ok, I may have just peed outside your car and used your whataburger napkins. Hope you weren't saving them for a special occasion.
We left the knife in your bed.
There are two guys's cum on my sheets. Be a man and be the third.
Dude, you vomitted into a trashcan wearing your bear hands and high heels. Your drug dealer even said that was rough.
I jammed my finger giving him a hand job. Don't ask how, I'm still trying to figure that out.
Ur here to start shit and I'm here to light that shit on fire
The sad moment you remember you have no power for a week and can't flush.....
Wrong number bro but that sounds like a damn shame.
Can we climb Your roof?
No bitch its 2am go home.
Randomize
