i just realized that we are the poor version of bethenny and jill from real housewives... and I'm jill. this is a 6.5 on the depressing scale
at least we're not in new jersey
I am full of burrito and curiosity
just spent all of my last class as a college student, vomiting in the bathroom. its moments like these i will cherish
I'm gonna play a drinking game called "Sarah takes the train"
his profile picture is a blurry one of him holding a beer. i recognized him instantly.
No, "because my penis told me to" is not an acceptable answer to that question
He stripped down to boxers and then started flinging jello shots with a spoon into people's mouths like a catapult.
the intervention consisted of my aunt taking me to chuck-e-cheezs and telling me that this was my future - either as a mom or as a waitress - unless i stopped fucking around.
did she buy you pizza?
I just spent 10 min explaining to my mom how orange is a strange color. I think she knows
Why am I the only one golf clapping for the vomiting girl on the train who just fell of her seat into her own vomit
That moment when your whole family facetimed you just moments before you threw up all over the entire living room
That dude with the beard walked up to me, turned my water into wine with everclear and kool-aid, and walked away. Pretty sure drunk Jesus is back.
While I appreciate the pity sex (seriously, THANK YOU) we should not do it 3feet away from my ex when he's passed out next time. Awkward.
I'm only fucking women born in the 90s this summer
Stay away a while longer.
Still not sure if they're cops or strippers.
Randomize
