I know right? mind you this is the same woman who told me when I was 12 that oral sex just meant talking dirty
I just saw a like a 30 person deep walk of shame... it was like the million man march but with dorm chicks
And now we have yet another reason to never travel to Detroit
I don't know if it's lucky or if it really just makes my tits look THAT good, but I've never NOT gotten laid with this bra on
that's why you don't digest questionable powders from girls wearing tutus at a dirty club
cashier rang me up and said, "white people are funny." like i'm NOT the only white person to buy just lettuce & 40 glow sticks
Haha I'm surprised I didn't see you I was drunkenly buying $70 in merchandise including a vibrating cock ring at that cvs around that time
Update... last night a man tried to bite my ear. I think he swallowed my pearl earring.
I sat on the toilet and peed through my jeans, then I pissed the bed and blamed him...do you think well have a 2nd date?
I need to make a new year's resolution to only pee in toilets. And it needs to start happening before the new year.
If my eyeballs could make a sound to describe how they feel they would just say uhhhhhhhhggggggghhhhhh.
Have you ever just sat there and thought about past penises?
Yeah I would come and meet you but there's 3 polish girls yelling at a drunk polish guy in the carpark outside. They just dumped a whole pizza over his head and I want to see where this ends...
I had a spiritual reading tonight and my dead grandmother called me a whore.
I aimed for bossy but it came out slutty
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