And hes hitting me with his balls, really hard.
epic walk of shame this morning involving 2 subway transfers. I need to start sexing locally.
States back in the final four. Now our sunday night drinking has purpose. Sparty on baby.
..i think i can hear you losing your virginity
Check Facebook. Random dude tagged us in photos from last night dancing at Denny's while eating a sampler platter. 1. How does he have our names, and 2. You said we ate at Tbell.
A stranger just came up to me and asked why I hadn't texted him, and if he was just a one night stand. I live for these moments.
If you've ever wanted to get filthy in a Catholic church before 2 on a Wednesday, I might be your guy.
I happen to have lost a black t-shirt and the volume button from my phone last night. If anyone finds it. You know what to do.
Notice how both of our plans for hooking up with these guys involve getting them drunk?
Oh my God, we're like men but with great boobs.
Guess who's the proud owner of her very own foxtail butt plug!!
I'm tired of looking like my mother fucked Chewbacca.
We had sex while watching the republican debate. I'm not sure how he maintained an erection watching Donald Trump speak.
he just asked me that if he was a penguin and I was a penguin if I would fuck him
I ate all your munchie Mac and Cheese cause you left me on the lawn. If you don't want it to happen gain, drag my drunk ass inside next time
How naked do you want me to be?
Randomize
