I have a feeling that after last night, i'm not just going to hell. i'm going to hell on a full scholarship. free admission bitches
I just fired a shotgun out of the back of a truck going 60. i am going to miss oregon.
You don't know the meaning of what the fuck until you wake up naked and alone in someone's bed staring at a dead squirrel on their dresser.
We're starting "No Hesitation Fridays." The probability of this going horribly are between 100 to 125 percent
6 beers and it feels like I've been drinking water... Daiquiri time
Technically my penis started a fight tonight
His and hers buttplugs were a resounding success. Tru luv
I was about to share my drunken story from the weekend, but two friends getting married and one finding out she's pregnant makes Saturday in jail look a little suspect.
No more going to class sober.. Tried it for a day or two, its just not for me
You attract beautiful men with jobs. I attract ONE WITH A SOUL PATCH.
it was a sexy soul patch.
she fell asleep in a torn bush after playing cards at a nursing home.
I showed him my machete and then we made out in the kitchen
I say camping because "let's go get hammered in the woods" sounds kinda fucking weird to be honest.
I'm still questioning who dropped me off last night. So successful wedding?
I got really worried when i woke up and there weren't any missed booty calls from him between 3 and 5 am. Apparently his gf is in town ...
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