Dude, no joke... I lost my wedding ring in some skank last night
Do you think you have hit the lowest point in your life when you find yourself actually condisering watching the movie "Gigli"?
Do you need to be saved?
No I think I'm God
I found the seven page love letter I had written you. I'm sorry i was so obsessed.
I think my vagina is haunted
mom found the triscuts in her underwear drawer, its done.
Dont tell her I prefer to have an aura of mystique surronding me and my penis.
Yup. We're now banned from TWO of our nation's finest zoos.
Using our apartments online floor/space planner to see how many beer pong tables we can fit. Dont think they had this in mind when they put this thing online.
Probably not lol but were fitting as many as possible
My boob is missing a layer of skin
I can hear my family downstairs singing Christmas carols as I masturbate
He carried you out but the best part is you kept saying "can't I keep dancing" as you were gushing blood
He stopped mid thrust ... To check snap chat .. From his roomie
if you were broke and planning on using koolaid as a tequila chaser which flavor would you pick?
I am high. And my mom surpised me today. Now i am high and with my mom....bad idea
Randomize
