just took a shot of grandma at the fucking bowling alley... this is going to be interesting
You do realize the lyrics aren't "hold me close TONY DANZA" right?
You can't be serious.
his ringtone is the jonas brothers. get me the fuck out of here NOW.
Her parents hate her and she's on like major lockdown. All her friends are in jail and she has massive pit stains. Dude... It doesn't get much worse than that.
Just made a makeshift menthol by rolling a listerine strip into a regular cigarette... Poor? Who, me?
I found out what happened to that girls weave last night. It was draped over a bush in my backyard.
You destroyed the landscape if my vagina FOREVER.
I had her number in my wallet, I was sitting on a winning ticket for the blowjob lottery and didn't know
just woke up on a lounge chair wearing a durag and holding burrito wrappers in my hands
I think I've forgotten how to blink. Help plz?
EITHER I'M HIGH OR JUST REACHED A NEW LEVEL OF SINGLE FEMALE SADNESS BECAUSE THIS BROWNIE IS GIVING ME ORGASMS
I LACK THE NECESSARY BRAIN FUNCTIONS TO BE ABLE TO PROPERLY RESPOND TO THAT
Well we can add this to the list of 'where the hell did that bruise come from?'
Dude. All I know is that I woke up on the floor with two naked chicks who don't speak English.
Clutch
all my friends are getting married and here i am in a committed relationship with rum
Randomize
