True but thats because hes a fetus.
HELP! I am trapped in a douchebag ad... full of Affliction and Ed Hardy. Seriously? is he gonna leave his sunglasses on the entire 10 seconds of this encounter?
Calling yourself a modern day Geisha doesn't justify being a whore.
She climbed through the window and into my bed. Not even sure who she is. Was thinking she might be a friend of yours?
i wanna pet his head its so fluffy. were gonna open a petting zoo
so I was at the house for 3min to grab my bathing suit & tequila. You know, the go-to weekend combination
I walked out of the store holding my face and a lady pulled her daughter away from me as I then threwup in the parking lot
I know you're on vacation but you should know I just walk of shamed through a hotel lobby while leaving a threesome on Friday the 13th. Fuck superstition, I win.
Let us do this. Tomorrow night is thirsty Thursday. Let us drink whiskey from the bottle and have men in plastic gloves inscribe permanent images of each others faces onto our buttocks.
I'm now drinking beer through a straw. By order of the bartender.
Dear god. Please. Please do NOT deprive yourself of dick for 90 days. Blood will spill. Wolverines will howl. I can't handle that kind of terror.
SOMEONE WITH THE TWITTER HANDLE "METHLAB" FAVORITED THAT PICTURE
Dude. That Grinch had his priorities right when he was worried that there might be a cash bar at that town celebration.
Always a gay best friend, never a bridesmaid
I think he is using me to sort through his relationship issues, past and present. I did not sign up for this. All I want is booty. Am I the dude in this relationship?
Randomize
