there's nothing like that first "just failed out of my program" beer
I either just got cockblocked or saved from a lengthy court case so I'm kinda conflicted about how my night went.
While you were in the ER we decided to tailgate in the parking lot until security told us that's not allowed.
Sunday Funday has been cancelled indefinitely, due to lack of self control of all parties involved.
She got turned on by my fanny pack full of condoms. I can't believe you said it was a bad idea to wear it to the party.
It's all good. Going back to my room to try and air out my balls.
i could've stared at her spine forever man..she was so deep, and she made a drink out of vodka and organic mangoo shit. i will find her and present that goddess with some fucking gummies
you're no longer allowed out of my sight at parties
She deserves a chance to suck my penis. This is America. Its her God given right.
I love how you sexted me before you told me happy birthday. Thank you.
there are no losers in shot checkers. only winners.
Is there a polite/non-lush way to ask how alcohol ranks on their list of priorities? Because like idk how to break the ice furreal.
Hey, what's a nice way of saying "Why'd you send me a picture of your boobs last night" without seeming ungrateful?
he called me his ex's name during sex then proceeded to cry while still in me
I should be in a better mood, I just went home and had a quickie on my lunch break.
I had a sandwich.
Went to waffle house after dropping my sister off at school and got into a heated argument with a drunk/hungover philosophy professor I will not name. I won the argument.
Randomize
