I just woke up in bed next to my teacher. Does that mean I'm passing now?
We were busted for public indecency in the back of my car in the parking lot. This time we were just reading my Cosmo magazine.
i feel like pocahontas...the disney character not from real chance of love
Maybe my heart is located in my vagina
The little things make me happy. Little dicks do not.
Well he's not a stripper, so we're already doing better than my last date.
I just ate nachos topless with a fork. Live with meeee
And then she was like, "don't do anything. No blow jobs, don't let him stick his fingers in weird places because people have germs."
Depending on hangover severity. The fact that I can spell severity is in your favor.
i have this gut feeling friday is going to be interesting.\nAnd by interesting I mean I feel like im going to get punched in the face by his girlfriend.
I let him watch sportscenter while we fucked. How did he repay me? I'm now missing class to get a shot in the ass for the clap. You and I are getting wasted and keying someone's car this weekend.
Woke up this morning buried in a mountain of chex mix and bubble wrap. We must have been doing something great last night
Well, I'm hung over and my penis hurts - two signs of success
He made a playlist to use during sex...that ended with The Ultimate Warrior's entrance music.
And they're not making a turkey. My cousin was "hoping to shoot a bird this week"
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