he broke up with me so i peed in his bed
we got sick of 7 11 doubles so we made up a game where you just drink when anyone rolls a 5
thats barely a game just flip a coin
should we drink on heads or tails?
I just was on a 20min team conference call where I didn't speak, I used a Gus Johnson soundboard online to answer questions asked to me...the highlight of 2010
sometimes i think i'm bisexual but then i realize the only girl i'm attracted to is myself.
in hindsight, $10 Malibu buckets were a terrible idea...
That glade motion activator thing keeps going off every time we pass the bong. I don't know what I'm getting high off right now.
He ran headfirst into the atm. Thenasmed us what our spirit animals were...he said his was either a dolphin or a cabbage
I know this request is pointless but you two please try to keep the drinking and drug use to a minimal, I have bail money so write my number on your arm and a "if found call", wear a life jacket and act like a responsible 28 year old please.
I think the only context in which I'd be comfortable being kidnapped is by a band of baby sloths
30 year old woman with braces and crocs came into the store today with her boyfriend. what am I doing wrong.
Xanax and cookies, it's good to be home
It wouldn't be New Years Eve if we knew where we would be at midnight
Tip of the day: Don't Amazon vibrators when your WHOLE FAMILY uses your prime account. There's dildo after dildo showing up in my "Related to Items You've Viewed" category on the home page.
The bride is so wasted, she fell into her cake.I wanna be on her level
Idk if I want to put a bra on
Randomize
