New boss looks like john cusack in a collar. Hot. Why do i always want to have sex with priests?
you were so high you spent the rest of the night smelling pepper to prove you can sneeze with your eyes open
were talking about masturbation in my pysc class. He says it's healthy. I'm gonna live forever
Just ducktaped my beer to my bike. See you in ten.
So, we're going at it on the sink when a German kid walks in and starts brushing his teeth. I love hostel sex.
You can't keep basing your relationship off of the fact that you both love ramen noodles
You are just a treasure cave of fabulous alcoholic ideas.
Just found cake in my bra, debating if I should eat it
These shoes are like walking on sunshine and labias. So soft and squishy
The sales associate looked at me funny for wobbling in the heels i was trying on until i told her i was trying to see how well i'd be able to drunk walk in these tonight
Yea we slept in ur room but im 80% sure we didnt have any peanut butter in there
Where did you go?
I'm not really sure. They have flavored vodka. I like it and I'm never leaving. Ever.
Thought the acid was fake. Then my reflection didn't move when I did in the bathroom.
We keep making plans but he keeps getting arrested. Such a tease
Does it still count as a threesome if one girl left halfway through cause we were having too much sex?
Fuck you for even being able to ask that question
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