well i just puked at a family gathering so i can cross that off the bucket list
Dude, she DOES look like she'd give good head. No bottom jaw, I checked.
Told a girl i wanted to feel her bellybutton from the inside... I need to learn how to flirt
I just decorated my birth control case with Lisa Frank stickers. If that doesn't scream 'I'm not ready for babies' I don't know what does.
Her gay brother kept hitting on me and cockblocking me. Don't even begin to tell me how bad your night was.
did she really put a helmet on, try to make a hole in the wall then pass out on the floor ten minutes later? if thats true ill be there in 15
stuck in the elevator with that hot guy from the 3rd flood. Worried he can smell my spray tan and desperation
despite the cops showing up at 8am, pre gaming groundhog day was my idea yet. and by pre gaming, i of course mean getting black out drunk by 7:30am
We fed him just...so many bright colored crayons when he was blacked out. I hope he looks at his shits because this could be all for nothing
Also I just sneezed literally 12 times in a row so violently...boogers everywhere. Sorry to ruin the sexting. I just felt like you had to know
Someone has big plans this weekend. Just went to throw away the trash and saw packaging for 3 different vibrators on the top of the stack
I WAS KIDDING ABOUT SLUTEMBER BUT ITS ACTUALLY HAPPENING
Learn from my mistakes, you naive soul: Gay love triangles are just as dangerous as straight love triangles.
Someone drank my pedialite!
YOU drank your pedialite. I watched you chase shots with it!
just woke up and had to check if i still had pants on, i really need to stop drinking
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