yes i saw that this morning. it was my mailbox.
Well i just wrestled a cop... p.s. i won
walkin around the woods blazed, drawing pictures of trees and plants, i get a grade for this
Just dominated the men's bathroom at work. Sounded like the intro of a death metal song.
Have you been tested recently?
Well I got my shots when I was a baby so I think I'm immune
She kept biting his ear when he was talking to people, that was only 3 drinks in...
I don't know what to be prouder of: the fact that last night i was able to successfully find my way home from evanston with 3-d glasses on, or that i was able to make my way around my house in the dark with my pants around my ankles
at first i was on the bathroom floor cuz i was hungover. now im just here because it is cool
I like how zombie Abe Lincoln and hooking up with a girl were on your same thought process.
I got back and Katie was asleep holding a burrito. I woke her up and she ate it and passed back out.
To keep it classy I will take a pregnacy test on Mother's Day
In retrospect, vomiting out of a moving vehicle on the third date should have been a deal breaker
Well I kept shouting "you're groovy" at him and then I had a 15-minute argument with the bouncer about how many 9s there are in 100... it was definitely time to go home.
do you think that identical twins have the same size junk? i just want to know your opinion before i find out.
Want to go to Victoria’s Secret? His fiancée is out of town and I’m going to try and stop the wedding with lingerie and lots adventurous sex
Absolutely! I love a good sexual filibuster!
Randomize
