I bet he comes in French.
Practice the "sorry I may have given you herpes" conversation with me before I call him and break the news
I kept feeling my boobs..just to make sure they were still there.
It seems to me that once you begin comparing Jesus to hercules and calling him a super pimp you should put the wine away...
Spent the entire ride home from downtown trying to convince designated dawgs to drop us off at waffle house instead of our apartment. i told them it was my house...they didn't buy it.
I've got to admit, I'm a little hesitant about giving him road head. I've seen how he drives and I've seen how he acts when I give him head. A small part of me is saying this is going to end badly.
The van in front of me contains people having SEX. I am in full view of a SEX VAN.
There's a bachlorette party going on at the bowling alley, so we'll see who wins greatest shitshow tonight.
He held back my hair as I puked, then kindly asked me to slightly move my head over and pissed right next to my face.
posting about faith hill is really not helping you get me into your bed
hey now, it was 6 bucks for 5 shots. you would have lost your panties too.
KY in my mouth and throat does not a party make.
It just makes sense. It's like I end a relationship, and wash myself of sin... with tequila.
I'm pretty sure my therapist gave me the green light to fuck him.
If he didn’t pick us up we would have been jerkwards eating sad pancakes at a Denny’s.
Randomize
