Amandyke just told me shes gonna make my tongue her cum rag. i'm borderline terrified
But i did once see a show where a women was homeless and installed a stove in a school bus so she and her baby could live there since all the seats were taken out. As far as being homeless goes it didn't look half bad...So this is me promising to you that if i ever am living in an abandoned school bus...i will at least pimp it out with a stove so you can come over for dinner sometimes
Last night i was so high that i came home and did a taste test of every vitamin water and wrote theyre grade down on paper.
i gave her road head last night, needless to say it wasn't the same and i bit a chunk of the inside of my cheek off.
In the middle of blowin me she stoppped and told me how easy it would be to insert a catheter ..... Apparently she was a nursing major
You may see me on espn tomorrow drunk, half naked, and selling articles of clothing to rich cougars like i did last year, but i will NOT be drinking shitty beer
Your cum is still running out of me. I pity the next person that tries these jeans on....
Can we go to Home Depot next week? Drunk Kim broke my toilet with a hammer.
He came over to use the microwave, said he needed to heat up some urine.
The last thing I remember was wearing a sombrero and trying to do cartwheels in the club
You did one successfully. Then smashed into the wall
Damn it. Can't order pizza. Can't do the hot tub. No one to invite over for loud, kinky sex. What's the point of being here alone?!
I smell like cowboy sweat. I got two lap dances. This is the best day of my life!
I don't know what you're doing this morning, but obtaining Plan B is my number-one priority.
I'm gonna cum garlic butter
Do you know anything about how the saran wrap ended up on my toilet seat?
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