I've been thinking and really it's a miracle I haven't had an STD yet.
Ambien does the same to me. One time that I took it, I got this huge bowl of spaghetti out of the fridge and thought it was a castle and that the meatballs were little slaves. I ate all of them first and then the noodles were the soldiers and the sauce was the water in the moat. And when I finished, I fell up the stairs and threw it all up.
This is one of those situations that make me think to myself "what life decision did I make to get here"
Or I die of a heart attack, which is the more likely/less fun scenario.
Just found out the guy that gave me herpes died. now everytime I get a flare up, it'll be like he's coming back to say hello
Adderal just makes me love life. I want to do so much. I just can't stop thinking about all the wonderful opportunities we have and how lucky we are and I want to make a difference in the world. I just have to reign in my brain and convince it that changing the world starts with a college degree, which depends on studying for these finals.
I don't believe u have enough text space to describe the dimensions of his penis.
Thats not what we're looking for. I want this kid to suck a lolly pop out of a stripper's snatch.
Some clips from last night: grinded like I haven't since college. Took shots with a bartender with a bad ass mustache. Made up a string of lies with fake names and occupations. Slept behind the couch with pizza in my hand
All I could think when I saw it was, "All right, Vagina, only one of us is getting out of this alive."
Nothing motivates a person to clean their apartment like puking up cheese ravioli beer-tequila chicken wings for eight hours.
yea but i missed the pot and poured the boiling water on my dick. shit hurts. aint nothin easy about that mac
Duuuude someone spilled hot sauce all over the floor and trailing outside wtf
OH GOD IT'S BLOOD. THIS IS ALOT OF BLOOD.
This time last year, you were undressing me from my gecko costume and getting freaky in a public bathroom. Tough to top that New Years Eve.
she's a drunken disney princess. so basically me if i had a crown and no desire for independence.
Randomize
