yo I wanna see you, bring that beard of yours
you definitely held a convo with a hobo
we have a secret handshake
It was amazing what she could do with her one good arm.
Ask him about the girl he took home Saturday night. I swear she voted for Kennedy.
Max was wondering if he could trade you sex for the use of your jumper cables
Life lesson learned last night, if you are too drunk to use the atm leave the strip club
Just checked an empty cooler on the flight to Notre Dame. You don't have to tell me you're jealous, I already know.
Imagine that my comprehension level is that of a 7 year old and explain your plan again
WHY. COME BACK. TRAPPED WITH ROOMMATE AND FALCON. SAVE ME. I HAVE HUMMUS.
Potato salad is not cupcake ingredient
would you say our friendship is at the "help each other shave animal patterns in each other's pubes" phase?
he's home with a concussion now...but apparently i'm still the highlight of his freshman year
I just drove by a stop sign that had a used maxi pad stuck to it WHAT THE FUCK
Our lives are a motherfucking joke
the people in front of me have a grocery cart in their car... i missed college...
Randomize
