not only are you not the girl i fell in love with, but from the looks of it, you ate her
turns out gay frats are just like normal frats, only with more v-necks
so my aunt is sitting on the couch, eating a brownie and watching the biggest loser saying how it's not that hard to eat healthy
man i love america
I have a page in my 2010 scrapbook dedicated to pictures of his cock.
I think I threw my underwear away at What-A-Burger last night.
Why the hell did you invite him? He's gonna bring two more inches of dick and zero fun.
I can't blame him for thinking that then, placing a cone shaped potato chip on the tip of his penis post bj is not a normal act of love
I just said "okay we have 20 minutes to get each other off, ready... Set... Go!" and he picked me up and threw me on the bed. I almost came just from that.
I love spring semester, so many high school girls visiting that think I'm the sexiest man alive just because I'm in college
Aren't you gay?
IT'S NICE TO FEEL WANTED DON'T RUIN THIS FOR ME
All I remember is folk music and a lot of drugs. I am never going "on an adventure" with you again
I'm going to assume that "the army of generous folk dancers" is no longer a goal you are willing to fulfill
Sometimes you just gotta fuck a has been local celebrity for your 15 minutes.
My boobs just got me out of my third ticket last night
i'm so proud. i woke up to nearly seven feet of basketball player in my bed this morning
you win. again.
And I made some girl take out the trash, load and unload the dishwasher, swifter, and clean the counters. So don't act like I don't do anything.
I knew I'd like her from the moment she supported me messing around with my co-worker on my lunch break
my Mom is now my Eskimo sister... she fucked my ex in my bed and took a selfie
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