1:32a: I quit. signing up for eharmony. Don't judge
I wish I could rss feed the hooker ads on craigslist because it looks suspicious that I check craigslist every hour.
he kept asking me "do you love it? tell me you love it" as I was riding him.
and...?
I told him it was alright.
The twins are whispering in turkish together. I think I did something bad last night.
yea man just watch out- theres a shitload of broken glass in your bed
Well if my looks don't work with her I'll eat the 50 nuggets to impress her fat roommate.
you called your neighbor "slutsauce" then passed out on the stairway. not even sure why, but props to you.
she fascinated with the iron the back of the toilet seat. she made me sit in the bathroom with her for a solid 10 minutes while she just stared and laughed at it
I'm tired and starving, and I'm pretty sure I just cost the company 33,000 dollars...fuck you and you're "you'll love going to work high" nonsense.
I don't know how I'm going to know it's her, I only know what she looks like with a wig on
SHE COULD ALREADY BE HERE AND I WOULDN'T EVEN KNOW
OH GOD NOT SANTA BABY. NO NO NO. YOU'RE LIKE 85. OMG MULTIPLE WOMEN. NO NO NO STAHP.
No don't worry! What are obnoxious, alcoholic, slut roommates for if not for uplifting words and tales of my folly?!
I've just never heard the term serendipitous used to describe having one's asshole licked.
How can you tell that you're blacked out ?
You can feel it in your nipples.
He listens to me complain and in return I send him naked pictures. It's a win win situation
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