Tip #47, don't trim the bush when you have the shakes!
I'm pretty sure that every show on ABC Family could be turned into a drinking game.
Who was more unwelcome: The two of us at the party last night, or Kimmy Gibler at the Tanner residence?
I am going to get arrested. I am yelling fuck repeatedly, wearing a Bird jersey and polka dot pants while pounding wine. Amazing mug shot to follow.
God, you're like boner-b-gone
i want you to know that after i type the word "your" , vagina is next on my auto correct text
90 persent of me said don't pee on that fake plant. Buyt i did
Is it possible to have pulled a muscle in my neck from passing out with my head in a bucket?
I don't think I'd trust a marching band with trampolines to not cause serious damage to themselves/ property.
I masterbate to the thought of you. You totally aren't just a booty call.
Lesson learnt. Sex toy cleaning spray is not an acceptable substitute to clean your glasses with.
I had mdma, weed, and alcohol in my system. My doctor seems to think that's how I tore my groin.
I was using my Beauty and the Beast blanket as a makeshift skirt because no pants
I tried to walk home in my heels. And I fell into a snow bank. And then I cried and a policeman came up to me and said I can't sit in a snowbank and got me a cab. So maybe that's where I left my credit card. I remember the cop asking me if I was old enough to drink, too. OMG. How embarrassing. Pretty sure I told him to "leave me alone."
Ain't no cockblock like hearing the word"HOOODOOORR!" shouted from the bedroom floor while in the middle of sex.
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