i have a feeling tonight will end in rehab
She is totally STD
Is it a bad omen that my phone auto corrects dtf to STD
We were doing it doggy style, and I puked on the floor and started crying, he told me it was okay his cat would eat it... and if it would make me feel better we could do anal...
And they lived happily ever after....
it's like a walk of shame rule, you always run into someone who saw you wearing that yesterday
I assume you will show your seat mates your vibrating cock ring.
the creek. my friends left me at a party next thing i know im in a breaststroke relay race with a bunch of randos in the dark
I remember desperately screaming that I love my life and running in zig zags all the way home
Do not buy whiskey under any circumstances. There should be a UN sanctioned buffer zone between me and Seagrams.
when he put a condom on for a handjob cuz he didn't want to "blow his load in the car" i started to question my choice in guys..
Sorry I need more motivation then McDonalds and mojitos.
I told him I was very thankful for what his country has done to my vagina and walked away.
Just bailed on her the best way possible. Got tickets to the game. Only issue is.... if we lose, we not only lost, but I skipped sex to watch us lose
I'm sure there are thousands getting dick today in the name of independence
So, left this guys house wearing a #1 Grandpa shirt and I think this is the best sex score I've ever had.
STOP FUCKING TELLING PEOPLE ABOUT THAT TIME THAT GUY CAME ON MY FACE WHILE I WAS ASLEEP!!!
Randomize
