Do you realize that Last night you pissed in my closet and then walked to the bathroom to wash your hands?
I think most guys look at porn as a fallback career. I mean I know I do.
HAH. HARRY POTTER CASUAL CONVO HAS BEEN EXTENDED TO DISCUSSING WEATHER. SO PRO
like semen in my mouth is absolutely disgusting but i'd still like to experience it
There is a semi-attractive guy at the door who's looking for you. Says he met you on Chatroulette. Start explaining NOW.
I added "don't hook up with boys with girlfriends" to my new years resolution and realized how sad it was that it made me actually feel like a better person
there's another hole in my ceiling...someone fell through the attic this time....
some gay kid said he wanted to blow him because "his eyebrows told a story"
I never thought your mom would see me throwing up on my hands and knees in your front yard
Next time I see you, remind me to tell you how I fell through my attic door and landed on my feet in the garage on the first floor.
He broke up with his gf yesterday so he could give me our annual Christmas sex at midnight.
Marry him. Now.
My bathroom smells like artichokes and absinthe. I am naming a perfume after you and using the money to buy new towels.
Just found the measuring tape in my bathroom. How drunk could I have possibly been on Saturday?!
It's almost like he's actually taking my commentary and criticism to heart, but simultaneously succumbing to some primal urge to wear less clothing each time.
...hi
YOU SHOULD BE ASHAMED OF YOURSELF
Ok cool I was afraid you'd never speak to me again. I can work with this.
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