"what do u think of parents raising kids to be peeping toms" said guy on bus 2 me
Turns out you're obligated under man law to share any passwords you may have for porno sites
Is that what they're teaching u at that bar review class?
You kicked in the door when she was blowing him. You dont remember do you?
The last thing I remember is ordering two Martinis while yelling 'CAN YOU PUT THAT IN ONE GLASS?'
Everytime the frat boy touches his bro's ass after making a cup take a drink
1. Are there men involved 2. Is there food involved 3. Do I have to put pants on 4. Do I have to leave this bed
After what was supposed to be a one night stand I woke up to a message in my room wall written in marker "Kaitlin got it on in here" definitely a cock block down the road
Guess who just got caught by mall security having sex in a car in the parking lot... at noon. This chick.
I miss the "How many Grindr hits can I get while performing in an elementary school?" game.
So never has there been a greater Valentine's Day gift than you actually putting a new roll of toilet paper on for me after using the old roll up! You didn't even use the new roll. You clearly put that on from a gentleman's standpoint vs. a selfish standpoint. I love you!!!!
There are more dirty dishes in my bed then in the kitchen. Have I lost at life?
Spending Thanksgiving making a swinging profile brings the day to a whole new level...
She just called at a dance party, and you stopped mid puke to join. Another successful night.
Every time I start to trust vodka, it does this to me.
If you had amazing eyebrows i'd have sex with them.
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