there are definitely too many half naked pictures of me out there for me to ever be famous.
But never have I ever had sex with a dirty talker before, so it was something else, to say the least. I signed up to get laid, not play Penthouse Mad Libs.
woke up to find a pram in the balcony. first thing we did was look over the edge!
What I dont get, is for a man with a penis his size, to choose to go back with another girl instead of one that he says is the best sex he's ever had. He cant afford to be picky.
tell me how i ended up in the movie theater alone with a bottle of smirnoff and a bendy straw.
the elusive kegmastree, who's mystery is only exceeded by it's power
Apparently someone switched my cash for monopoly money after midnight so I couldn't get any more drinks at the bar
You know, last years football game was epic, but seeing the same girl that gave you a bj in the parking lot, in the same parking spot...that's fate.
Someone is in my phone as "fireball girl" and keeps texting me. How do I go about finding out who it is?
The goal for tonight is vagina. In and around. Doesn't matter who. How. Or why.
We knew it was a good time to leave when you spilt the salsa on the ground and were trying to put it back in the jar with your hands
Everyone is out there getting real jobs and I just realized I've been "washing" my clothes with fabric softener for two months.
I'm gonna play eenie meenie at the bar tonight because it's women's day and I deserve the dick
Every guy I've ever fucked is single right now
Pray for me
i'd like to schedule a penis for 4pm please.
Randomize
