Yes give me all the cream and he's gone
My sheets look like a crime scene.
can u get pink eye on your cock?
I wishh there was a lost and high section in walmart cause I would be there right now
idea:have a jello shot stand(opposed to lemonade stand) to raise money for spring break
I couldn't tell if those girls from the bar were lesbians or just awesome
Before you ask, yes. Whatever you're wearing IS too slutty for his mom's funeral.
Thanks, college. Tonight's decisions brought to you by margs in a nalgene.
They switched jackets and you didn't notice. You made out with both of them and had no idea
I think I've been inadvertently participating in a contest to see how many times I can show up to work hungover in my first year of teaching. And I'm the only participant. Not sure if I'm winning or losing.
The guys who program Autocorrect have never seen a vagina in person
Hi. Tara tells me your sandwiches and stamina are substantial
What kind of true American would I be if I didn't just smoke weed in my bathrobe on my back porch in the middle of suburbia on 4/20? #stepmomoftheyear
They both showed up at the same time... to surprise me. One had flowers and the other had chocolates. Needless to say, I will be at the bar all weekend long trying to figure out how this happens.
I have all the porn. Be there soon
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