Ok let me ask a question, does aderall make women less apt to have sex?
Cause it just destroys penises
Was that inappropriate? I can't gauge these things anymore
Puked in a plastic neiman Marcus bag while driving. My biggest accomplishment yet
She brought an overnight bag to my party. Might as well have shown up wearing only a thong and a bottle of whip cream in her hand.
Her vagina smelled like bad decisions
New discovery: conditioner is better for jerking off than baby oil. Fuck yes.
dont worry, it'll just be a conversation starter like "why did you get that pierced?" or "wow, i got arrested there too"
how do I tell the students with a crush on me, that yes, I am open to receiving blowjobs in exchange for grades?
just saw someone in just a bathrobe not even tied shut run to the bathroom with a facefull of cum. Someone had a good night
I don't think he knows what shame means anymore. He gave some bar slut his sisters Tiffanys necklace, in exchange for anal.
Remember that picture you sent me of you trying to eat the flower arrangement in the bathroom at that restaurant?
I'm hoping that by this time next year we will be smoking some weed at a gay wedding, asking "Mitt who?"
My drug dealer just made me weigh out my own weed because he was in the middle of taking his law enforcement final
It's like that thing with the devil and the angel except one shoulder has orgasms and the other has stuffed crust pizza and depression.
Also your Swedish friend who's name I don't remember is really good in bed.
*Norwegian
i just got hit by a door and im the one that said im sorry, yeah im drunk.
Randomize
