I'm really into asian looking animals
Tell me exactly where it said it wasn't a unisex bathroom.
just broke no shave november. hello backed up drain december.
weed brownie and a latte, breakfast of champions
She poured a bottle of rum in the champagne fountain, did like 5 jello shots at the same time, then lit herself on fire. Twice. This is how everyone should turn 21.
do you remember yelling at the waitress that you were a power bottom?
dude, my ass and shoulder hurt from that kayak last night... note to self: wood planks holding kayak from ceiling do not also hold up a human being
You have plans tonight?
Stress crying into a bottle of long island ice tea mix...other than that nope
So what's today's forecast for the female rollercoaster you've been riding?
Oh aight, and i was just going to be content with drinking, beating off and watching ninja turtles
Is it possible to rally from a drunken seizure?
How early is too early for a booty call on a Monday night?
I would go a lot of places to get laid. But I would NOT go to Staten Island.
I'm still here... I feel so bad wearing your mom's cardigan at a strip club 🙈
Who brings a stripper to breakfast at the dining hall? What was the plan? Impress her with his meal plan?
Randomize
