There are going to be so many Snookis this Halloween that I might just dress as the guy that hit her and punch them all in the face
Chinatown. Her fortune cookie said "accept the next proposition you receive." TELL ME NO NOW.
Yeah, I think they knew. I smelled like that telltale combination of strippers and Easter.
I'm not throwing down for dinner because I plan to have so much tequila I puke it up anyways. How much is a cab home?
So I am guessing last night was a success we are all accounted for and only 3 of us have hospital bracelets on
I don't know bro, all I could remember is that he kept saying hallelujah and calling that girl Slutimus Prime
So somebody asked her is she's okay.She turned around,started running and screamed "Ballet is running through my veins" before doing a small pirouette.It's amazing how she managed not to fall.
every Thursday i draw one of my friends names out of a hat to choose who i will drunkenly text all weekend
We had sex during an intermission, then the second period. The bruins better win. Missing a period isn't worth having sex with him
THEIR PENISES MATCH. I JUST REALISED THAT. THEY HAVE IDENTICAL DICKS. OH GOD.
I'm just going to eat my milkshake, watch teen wolf, masturbate, and lament my inability to form meaningful relations with men who aren't gay
I think I got a sinus infection from puking out my nose on st. Patricks day #thisis26
I wanna hang out. The cats don't talk back.
You were staring right at you dick at the urinals, then looked at all the other guys dicks and fist pumped saying "I win!"
I made out with that lesbian chick for a blunt. NO REGRETS.
Randomize
