READY
for what?
TO HAVE SEXXXX
i think you have the wrong number
my little brother got his license today.. too early to ask him to DD?
I just remember getting him back by licking the window on his truck.
The guy in the American Flag bikini was telling the women he was disgusted at the amount of alcohol they weren't drinking. Then it got ridiculous.
I'm the brains and you're the boobs of this operation.
I just spent a pre-4th of july celebration riding in a raft being towed by a car through a town that I've never heard of handing out flyers for a river rafting company that I never knew existed. Good night.
Brandon's Recipe: two parts cocoa, one part sugar, one part milk, two parts four, 378 parts paranoia. Thanks for the fucking brownies, bitch.
He was an asshole the entire night and then tried to touch my dick in a Michaels craft store.
Sooooo, no second date?
You know your night is done when the police confiscate your bra at high school basketball game
We were fucking and his phone rang and it was his grandma. He just had a conversation with his grandma while fucking me from behind. Then his dad called and asked him what he wanted from taco bell.
It's like the dark age of my sex life being stuck here
You don't understand. My ass is the color of eggplant.
You seemed underwhelmed by my smooth, smooth ass
I have never in my life been turned down for sex until this weekend.
Welcome to my everyday.
Bootycalls can't go limp that's like against the law
Randomize
