I wanna crawl in your skin and have dreams about Bobby Kennedy tonight.
we were having sex in the bathroom when his aunt knocked on the door
and rather than go out and meet her, i climbed out the window. so now she thinks he was masturbating and moaning his own name in a really girly voice
Just got a script for 120 vicodin with 6 refills. I feel like michael jackson.
I could make treat bags
Shit. Come in my room. Bring a trashcan and an icepack
The guy I fucked last night is well worth up the ass tuition. I just wish I could tell dad thanks!
Mass Text: Free blowjob to first person to bring me a nacho cheese chalupa.
My roommate didn't flush after her miscarriage. Time to drink myself blind. I need you for moral support. Or so I don't have to drunkenly cry alone anymore. Whatever, help.
Does Jim keep sending you pics of him in drag too???? If so, are you also slightly uncomfortable?
The amount of precision it takes to urinate into a 2 liter bottle while hammered is undeniably difficult.
walk of shamed to graduation. ending college with a bang....
Bacon and your penis are involved. Of course I'm going over.
I use my feet as sexual weapons
We spent our last night together taking turns vomiting in the bathroom. I'd say it was a romantic trip.
high I am. I am yoda. Yoda I am
She shouldn’t care what consenting adults do behind closed doors
You do realize it was her husband you were hooking up with behind that door, right?
Randomize
