you want me
i'd rather choke on a dick.
Dibs on passing out in front of the toilet.
You would only drink if the space jam soundtrack was playing, you thought it was hilarious that before every shot you said "y'all ready for this".
We were just about to get down to business and shes like oh the olympics! and jumped up and turned on the tv. cockblocked by freestyle skiing. seriously?
Who won mens moguls?
That canadian guy... bilodeau... but you're missing the point, dude.
sellin beer in gallon jugs is both the best and worst idea ever. Im only gonna have one beer...but its gonna be 128 ounces.
my stepmom is let-the-dog-eat-out-of-her-mouth drunk. oh my god.
Before I roll over explain to me why you're naked and on my floor.
We see some guy emerge from the forest on the island this morning, alone, in only a snuggie. Morning shots and bagels on us for the number one walk of shame.
I cried at the bouncer while saying I wished he was my father... They had no idea what to do with me.
Plus, it's just valuable. Virgin pee is very well-priced.
I woke up half naked on the floor next to his bed, and his cat was staring at me like it had seen everything that i myself don't remember..
Well I was kicked out of the bar and woke up on a picnic table. I'd say the night was awesome!
the man at taco bell in the drive thru window tried to sell me his mix tape
his single is called “stick some holes in it”
i have too much dick at my disposal? i should make them fight. best dick pic gets laid
It all started with a game of naked twister.
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