Omg. Never. Take a laxative the day you are going on. A date.
I'm a fake celebrity on twitter. I need a life.
We did it and he fell asleep and I was bored so I decided to go back to the party...is that bad?
It's only slutty when someone else does it. It's okay if it's us though
I stayed at the bar and helped clean up cause I was told I'd get free shots. Didn't happen.
Hey couldn't find water bottle to put margs in whole bottle in purse gonna stop and get cups and ice from starbucks and burrito from una mas want a quesadilla
is it possible i asked you to give me a preliminary pap smear?
whose ass print is on the piano?
Dramatic love triangle! I guess mystery Asian and I will just have to fight it out for your love.
I can't feel the bottom half of my face but i feel like our sex would be amazing
Sometimes I refuse to go through a door until someone holds it open for me because I'm a fucking lady.
That was a beautiful concert to sleep through ...
I know - Don't let me take drugs from strangers anymore
I woke up in a limo in long Island, Ny this morning. Talk about a black out
My mom found my empty case that I hid in my room and just said "now why don't you be a responsible underaged drinker and throw it in the recycling" and walked away. I'm in shock.
Who the fresh hell put 2 pillows a raincoat and a guitar on top of me to keep me warm last night
Randomize
