Needless to say when I told my parents they loved me less
There is a man walking 2 goats through the city.
Bonus: only one of them was on a leash.
We named our party play list daddy issues
come over
yeah sure
wait who is this again? my contacts got deleted...but tell me and ill be there in 10
he took off his pants and apologized in advance if I thought he was too small.
i feel like an archaelogyst. im pulling apart last weeks brownies to find the weed in them
I just need to actually convince myself that drunkenly having sex won't help me forget the last time I drunkenly had sex, it only makes the situation worse.
After a certain blood-alcohol level, the dog is in charge.
he tried breathing fire using moonshine and a roman candle. would not have believed it unless i actually witnessed it.
I think we should bring back the casual nipple tassel
I got so stoned last night I thought I was in second grade again
it was so good i reconsidered my staunch atheism
I'll pay you back with progressively deviant sexual favors.
For the love of god, if any of you are up, bring me pants.
not only did he puke in his mouth and hold it.. He also sneezed while doing this
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