he pushed my hair back because he said it made me look like kelly kapowski and he told me to call him zach
She wants out first dance to be to 98 degrees i do cherish you...remember how i said we didn't need open bar....
i woke up to the sound of my roommate climbing onto my desk mumbling that she was going to bed
Was in the middle of a keg stand, the frat guys dropped me, and I broke my nose. My mom didn't enjoy that call from the hospital.
It really does creep me out though that the next ten years will involve my friends creating smaller versions of themselves because to be honest I don't know how much I like some of them. So that thought it really scary
I called you a cum goblin in my voicemail. I stand by it.
Also my face is like def lowkey made of silly putty
You know how I said I hit my head so hard I saw two of him and tried to make out with both? Well, it turns out he has a twin.
I gave you keys to my house and drugs. This must mean we're in a relationship.
When he mumbled "I can't feel my legs," proceeded to stand, fall over, and just lay there I knew I'd given great head...
We just FaceTimed and I put an Oreo in my vagina for him. Now he has to fly across the globe for me.
I'm on someone's yacht. I don't know who. But I'm on it. There's a guy passed out in a kilt holding bagpipes. Help.
So I fell alseep while I was motorboating that girl last night infront of the entire party.
Hi darlin, what are you doing tonight?
.... Things I will not be proud of
so you might not believe this but he made a powerpoint. and gave you a 3.5/10.
Randomize
