it's a little hard to watch the basketball games with my family considering they keep cheering for the guy that i had a one night stand with...
Haha pretty bummed I didn't stay night yesterday after the bj fest you described
Well idk about you but my nose is all recovered for the weekend.
For gods sake, I only took one. With two nyquils. What a happy world its been today. Fulfill your obligations and then its marvelouso.
I had 5 long islands and 2 alien brain hemorrhages…I am entirely certain that the "power hour to finish the night" idea was just too much.
Also adulthood=replacing meals with bourbon. And not getting your hair caught in a fan.
Her only article of clothing is an American Flag
I heard you coughing. Are you choking or smoking? And are you okay?
i still can't believe he got laid by going to the bar and handing out "cuddle buddy" application forms
He's drinking on a hospital bracelet, the fuck's your excuse?
He compared my ass to "a 13 year old track star's ass." Umm WTF? Is that supposed to be a compliment? And when I questioned boy or girl he said "either."
The parents I babysit for are at this orgy. I need to leave.
Well now you know my birthday fantasy: gangbang consisting of men wearing NPR pledge t-shirts.
i saved a drunk oompa loompa he was passed out on the lawn and i picked him up figured out where he lived and put him in his bed and wrote his roommate a note
They picked up the lamp, held it aloft, and proclaimed apropos of nothing “this is going right up my ass”. LOUDLY
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