Whats up?
Drunk as a mother trucker with panties on her thumbnail..laying thee down
Stay up. I'm coming home in a little
Ill try..hurry!!!! Thine hour awaits you
This is how I know I have no life... Jon and Kate are my emotional roller coaster.
I feel like I am becoming dumber sitting here in class than I would be sitting on the couch smoking weed.
I am so stoned and my professor is handing out candy. I love Halloween.
I made $300 today by selling pizza @ $4 a slice to nerds who refuse to leave the library. God I love finals time
This is no lauging matter. Huge cock equals great sex. Marriage to huge cock equals great life.
Woke up in an unfamiliar pair of underwear, running shoes but no socks, and a cowboy hat. Thank you crown royal
Is a 'Dr. Willy Fister Gynecologist' costume appropriate for work?
Get the cougar, get the cougar, get the cougar. Act like an injured baby deer. She will either eat you alive or nurse you back to health either way its still sex.
I have made the descision to sacrifice the first of my family's dogs that wakes me before noon tomorrow. I may quickly become the family outcast
We got hammered last night and I woke up this morning with texts from 'iron maiden chick.' wtf?
Can't decide if this guy is hot or if I'm just bored.
Sex is clearly the solution either way.
In case you're wondering what I'm doing, I'll be banging an 18 year old this weekend. Repeatedly.
Let’s be real here. NOTHING says Real Adulting like rolling a J on your line of credit paperwork.
If you think I'm going to drive 5.5 hours just to bang a guy, you'd be absolutely right.
Randomize
