But i just feel like he will pull it out and ill panic. I mean its fairly basic. Up and down. But i feel like ill just freak out.
how could I be having a bad time, I have the three most important things in life: Goat cheese, Xanax, and Saved By the Bell Re-runs.
Can we fast forward to the part where we get gyros
you can feel better about your life now. i slept with a guy who has gold teeth
I woke up on a futon in some strangers house. They were eating pizza and told me everything was going to be fine.
He's just sitting there staring at my sisters teddy bear hoping it will come to life.
Its a first. Never been peed on in a line to concert. First time for everything.
She kept telling me it was a squirtgun.
I'm making poor life decisions again. Tune in tomorrow to see how much I hate life.
well, mom whipped her new boobs out at the dining room table. So yeah you could say we had a pretty casual thanksgiving
Your Vodka Saturday privileges have been reduced to Beer until you go a full month without losing an article of clothing.
Is it bad that we left the kid passed out on the bus? I think his name was texas. I was too drunk to be questioning this.
If a guy makes a dick joke within 24 hrs of matching am I just setting myself up for disaster if I say yes to a date lol
Kids music just accidentally came on at this party. I didn't know how many stoners were here until they all sang along.
I saw some guy masturbating in the Burger King parking lot and I’m just fucking done
You tryed convincing the salvation army bell ringer you could do the worm and face planted into the sidewalk... I put a dollar in the can for your performance
Randomize
