Nipple clamps can be ambiguous
So bad night, ended up beating off to porn and eating Keebler elf cookies.... at the same time :-(
You admitted to me in secrecy that you want to jerk off a unicorn.
Besides Rainforest Cafe, there's nowhere i'd rather be intoxicated than here
I just peed next to my dog in the yard. Unparalleled forms of bonding going on over here.
well we could tame deer to let us ride on them. does that work?
And there are taco shells on the ceiling fan
A houseboat for a bachelor party is a terrible idea, we nearly die when on dry land, so how the hell are we supposed to survive a 3 day binge on a massive lake?
DONT EVER DUNK OREOS INTO WINE . NEVER
I can't even tell you how many rave sticks I tore apart with my teeth last night.
He just tried to eat my hair and he keeps talking about pissing on everything, come home soon I beg of you
Jumanji is 1000% better stoned while cooking breakfast.
i want to platonically make out with them, platonically. in the back of this minivan
Of course I fucked her, her man stole my bike when we were kids
I told him I lived in the apartment beside his brother and he said "oh, you're the girl that watches really loud porn!"
Randomize
