but i am gonna have to have sex w/ him again to get my earrings back
these two guys are about to go shot for shot with syrup
now he is talking to a potato
Just turned rock'em sock'em robots with my little cousin into a drinking game. Im drinking bourbon hes drinking hot chocolate.
I feel like I would bang a guy with a dick piercing just to say I have...like climbing a huge mountain or somethig
I found out that they tried to reenact the Snooki drop by using a jump rope and the banister. Pictures say it all.
So I just tried to wake him up with a blow job and he literally touched the top of my head and said snooze button
Do you know how difficult it is to give head to someone who's imitating Forrest Gump?
You came in as I got off work, ordered us jack and cokes. Put them on my tab, and then proceeded to fall asleep on the bar.
I think I'm dead. Why did I think it was a good idea to hang from the banister while someone poured liquor into my mouth?
I just remember being in the bathroom alone cussing out the bunny
Was booty called last night and I was so blacked out that my roomie made me puke before going to "eye of the tiger." Why I'm still single is beyond me
Its a sick, sad, world when parents get more ass then you.
Drinking Fireball means never having to say you're sorry. Unless its at you're arraignment.
I'm about to have a threesome at the hotel where I had my quinceañera. Becoming a woman under this roof for the second time, whaaat
He's only giving you free adderall so you can focus on his dick.
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