There are 3 speedbumps now up. Think you can manage the urge to piss on them?
Aw shit! That's like putting me a in a room full of Captiain Crunch Donuts and Jasper Hale and not letting me put my mouth on either.
I didn't say she couldn't, I said you shouldn't.
Its like Laser Tag, but more fun because it ends in sex
i mean i'm ok with bufu but if i'm gonna do it it needs to be a mutual agreement, and there are steps that need to be taken. you don't just go OOPS we're doing it now
Just spun two beer bottles and Placed them in my pockets perfect... I feel like the clint eastwood of drunks
Is 10 pm too early to booty call a freshman?
Between the booze, mechanical bulls, and penis's I think my body hates it when I'm single
He told me he felt like he shoud say thank you and as a prize i could keep anything from his room that i wanted.
I'm handcuffed to your bathroom sink. Save me.
found out that hot proper business chick in my class A) did a bar crawl last 2 night and still showed up to class and B) is 19 and C) so not as proper as I thought D) is single. How the fuck does that work? Freaking superwoman.
You know how there are wrinkles in your brain? What if they were filled with potato chips? That's kind of how my head feels now.
It was like coming out my mothers vagina again in slow motion
Hey! I need booze. And penises. And a lot of mistakes that I will regret in the morning.
I found you laying in a field of grass near the trail I jog on in the morning like a drunken Bambi.
I sent him home with blood on his fingers and shame in his heart.
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