So I'm at planned parenthood and there are 5 people here from Friday's party.
we flagged you as soon as you tried to put the lime in the microwave to prove it was really a kiwi. again.
She posted on her FB that he moved out...It's like she wants me to fuck him.
We were laying in the basement dry humping to the rhythm of the washing machine
A beer is a heart your wish makes!!!
Any chance you used one if the curtain rods in the fireplace room as a sword? One is missing
Maybe you can hide out somewhere she would never go. Like a counseling center or AA
Jusy read on a science page that squeezing boobs can prevent cancer cells from forming in them, youre welcome.
At this point I think you're just judging my taste in men
Also-when I die, I want it to be with my arms above my head so that when rigor mortis sets in, my breasts are perky.
Well, i'm not hugging a bag of cheetos and crying while I watch Friends wishing that we were Ross and Rachel. So clearly I'might doing better than last night.
They are like untrained puppies reaking havoc on a newly furnished house. Out of control.
You just compared our vaginas to a newly furnished house...I can dig it.
This whole Rob and Chyna drama is giving me trust issues. I'm about to text my ex and be like if you haven't already deleted my nudes, can you?
My boss is explaining why he thinks time goes by faster and faster. Bc of the rockets. No lie.
And the you walked in and said to the only under age dude "IM NOT SLEEPING WITH YOU TONIGHT!!!" You may not have high standards but thanks for not sleeping with my brother!
Randomize
