My place. Tomorrow Night. Bring your liver, and something for it to do.
Just remembered throwing your phone at your face in a half-drunk stupor the other morning when your alarm went off. Thought I should apologize.
I should hang a sign above my bed that says "get hard or go home."
forced to watch US open for father's day. only perk is discovering dustin johnson...reeeeally hoping that this golf sex addiction thing is contagious
He's trying to row the canoe up my front yard like he is Lewis and Clark.
Do you think I can wear the dress I went to jail in with the shoes I went to prom in to the wedding tonight?
I only put bad things in my body...jack, caffeine, chocolate, pills, and rich's cock. It's like being holistic but exactly opposite
What are you wearing tonight?
The colors of the winddddddd
Don't underestimate her when she starts going by "the vodka queen"
wanna mail me your GoPro for St.Patties and I'll mail it back to you coverend in puke?
You need to be full form and virile tomorrow so I can live vicariously through your rub and tug.
Thats why you dont have a "jubilant gunfire celebration"
Still drunk on my morning "run" which has turned into a walk. Just burped fireball
They way I see it is I've wasted 7 years of having these glorious tits. I only have about 3 good years left before idk kids or just gravity takes over and they don't look this nice so it's basically open season.
thanks for letting me have sex in your bed, too bad you didn't get to yet
who are you?
Randomize