i'm three days dirty after drinking 14 hours last night and some other questionable behavior (hula hooping at a large concert, for example) i will just always bring the class. and the sluttiness.
Please, let me fuck your mom
dude totally just got the jungle juice out of my white top. i am really ready to be a trophy wife.
My dad just knocked on my door and told me that my vibrator was too loud
It's been five and a half years since she and my brother stopped dating. I feel like that's a long enough grace period. Going for it.
Why would vodka do this to me? I've always been loyal
then he tried to tell me how many times he had seen Scott's dick. his estimate was about 180 times. he thought I didn't understand.
What goes on in that head of yours?
Gay sex, for the most part. Why?
He's asking if he can send a dick pic. How do I politely decline that?
This hangover is so bad, we are pregaming Chinese food with pizza.
I actually had to tell him that sex doesn't replace my Tupperware. Our relationship has reached a weird level.
do you think our homemade porn will pass for my cinematography final?
Looks like I'm not in the Ashly Madison files. But my wife is.
We will discuss everything tomorrow i presume. Including the sweaty naked tango.
You laid on the floor and pet their rug. and then demanded Voss water.
Randomize