I JUST GOT MY PERIOD AND MY VISA FOR LONDON GOT APPROVED! BEST DAY EVER!
Best idea ever: Giving hobos a beer and having a chugging contest to win another beer. Most fun I have had downtown in a while.
i told her she would have to blow me everytime we lost a game of beer pong, she never noticed i purposely hit our opponents in the face every other shot
You didn't want to have sex last night because you said your grandpa just died and you didn't want him watching..
is it just my freshly shaved vagina or is the guy at the end of the table pretty cute??
when she was 9 she got kicked out of our 4-H camp dance for pole dancing on the spirit stick
I had to carry you down because your legs weren't moving anymore but you were carrying the weights you stole from that guys room... and that's where the bruises came from.
I just got woken up by some Christians who wanted to talk about the bible. ways to make a hangover even worse for a thousand trebek
But he buys me breakfast and goes down on me THATS HARD TO FIND
who was i chillin with last night? i woke up in a storage unit
I didn't want to hook up with him so I just jumped out of bed, yelled "I don't even believe in god!" and ran out of the room
I went down on her on the dining room table. That should count for something.
I think the only option is to smoke so much weed I just pass out for 3 days.
I would literally only have sex with a dinosaur right now.
a victory without nudity is not really a victory
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