I just hope this isn't happening Final Destination style
Travis Barker would totally be Devon Sawa in this scenario
So I just went to student health services and on my way in there was a girl outside on her phone saying "I just dont want you to be angry" and on my way out she was saying "I have the side effects sheet right here" Someone started the semester off classy
i just sold a bong and some oregano to fifth graders for sixty dollars. doing something tonight?
Yeah, I just met her and we got arrested together. I think it was a good bonding experience.
Just asked my dog if he was proud of me for making it home. That drunk.
please dont make me drink to the titanic soundtrack
It feels like I've shaved away my winter coat and my vagina is going to freeze if I go outside.
So I found a skull ring inside me this morning. I'm assuming its yours, so I'll leave it in my mailbox for you - it looks expensive.
Friends don't let friends drunk sleep in the dorm common room
Idk. It's not appealing to me. Like don't get me wrong, I love ur dick A LOT but I don't want to stare at it on an iPhone screen
I've finally done it, I've downloaded some messenger lesbians like to use because some girl wanted to flirt.
Congrats, you're all grown up now.
I FEEL LIKE A GAY BUTTERFLY
i just teared up watching channing tatum in drag emerge from the fog on lip sync battle. it's gotta be PMS. either that or something is realllllly wrong with me.
They're the one who can profit the most when given the opportunity for blackmail.
At least that's how I've always seen it whenever I've been the Designated Driver.
That simultaneously explains everything and makes me very very terrified of you.
sex on a bike is impossible
challenge accepted
the coup got in the way of sex but inauguration day came thru we did it joe
Randomize
