the real housewives reunion is on...i wanna see if danielle can look any more surprised than the facelift allows
i wanna see dina punch her face back to normal
Marriage: a sacred union between one man and one woman, and another woman in Argentina.
she was giving me head and that cheryl crow 'youre favorite mistake' song came on. she looks up and all i could do was nod
tan lines, throwing up everclear on the beach, doing lifeguards, tequila...summer.
Check Facebook. Random dude tagged us in photos from last night dancing at Denny's while eating a sampler platter. 1. How does he have our names, and 2. You said we ate at Tbell.
So. How about you can get tequila certified...
If I come back tomorrow to find a certain football player tied up and locked in your closet, shit's gonna get real.
I'll set him free tomorrow morning ;)
Spent 20mins wondering why my roommate wouldn't answer after we were pounding on the door.....Def went to the wrong building.
No ambien sex tonight. I just ate two hotdogs with chilli and onions.
We duck taped Dave to a rolling chair and shoved him in the bed of the truck then took off for a bit.. We didn't explain it that way when the nurse asked what happened though.
May he have a McRib induced stroke and lose the feeling in his tastebuds.
just called AAA to get my keys out of me car and then afterwards realized they were in my pocket...stoner life
Cooked. Eating pizza. Didn't have a napkin so I took my shirt off and I'm using it.
First time a guy goes down on me and his dog had its head on my knee the whole time. I swear it was judging me.
Good News: There was a condom on the floor. Bad News: It was still in the wrapper
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