The tricky part is not getting sand in any orifices. Or is the plural orifi? Orifi don't, we'll both be unhappy...
I knew we were gonna fuck after she told me she's seen that Porno before
Literally passed out while tubing... Boating while hammered is a blast but thank God for life jackets
I think there was chlamydia in those woods.
nah, they dropped the charges. apparently ripping his junk when he tried to hop the fence seemed like punishment enough...
I'm pretty sure my lung is caught on my rib. And I can't feel the left side of my face. Best. Sex. Ever.
he told me it was like eating gods vagina.
You never know how much you love your bed until you sleep with 4 other people in your car.
Why did you make me get in the car with you and then not give me a ride? I woke up in a bar with a blanket on me.
I think that thing where I have 2 boyfriends is happening again
I'm going to write a horror movie. It's going to be called "Fat People on a Squeaky Bed" and it's going to feature me laying in bed last night listening to my overweight roommate and her fat boyfriend tossing and turning all night
Not sure what happened last night, but I woke up without a shirt on and cereal glued to my boobs...
It was pretty awesome. I drank out of a stein and attempted to dance to dubstep with some older guys in leiderhosen.
I walked in the kitchen and heard her saying "We could have been so good together" as she caressed an egg with her cheek.
Pretty sure my aunt hooked up with one of my brothers frat brothers at his graduation party
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