hey. who tried to drive me home last night?
not sure. we got lost. what do you mean "tried"?
i'm still in their car. parked on the beach. no one else is here. i have on different pants.
did you know that snuggie is the perfect anti-freak out aid for stoners? it weighs you down so you can't go anywhere. just sit there and enjoy the movie, that's right.
nothing says "we're all in this together" like the herpes she passed around to our entire group of friends
Your brother came in a girls mouth for the first time last night... Ah the tales told whilst buying minors beer.
The other. Cat spoke to me and left. This shit is laced
The first cat might save me but they are taking out masks
just reminessing about the wedding and were they seriously to tight to serve a meal oorrrrrr was it just another one of my black-out-by-dinner drunks
the fact that you actualy have a 'black-out-by-dinner drunk' is a bit deserving..
I told you in the isle if you get the one that vibrates that I masturbating with it. Your fault.
Bullshit. You owe me a toothbrush.
That freshman guy that keeps trying to hook up with me just saved someone's life ... Should I reconsider?
Hey I'm sorry for head butting you last night. Personally I thought it was funny at the time, but I can see how from your perspective it may not have been as enjoyable for you... Hope your lip is okay.
be right there i have to get my cape
I'm sure there are thousands getting dick today in the name of independence
I'm going to sleep with this bank teller and I'm going to enjoy it, just try and stop me
i may or may not have bought a plane ticket for a russian cam girl to fly here. also, can you spot me $300 on rent?
I kinda wanna drive through the Gator bar parking lot and seeing if my panties are on they ground, they should be right next to my pride...
I don’t know what he is but he sure can suck a lollipop.
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