Whenever I don't wipe thoroughly after shitting, I just think that anyone if anyone sticks their finger up my ass, they had it coming.
The polish Muslims are throwin paczkis into the crowd and I'm beer 6 before 11 am
He's bringing condoms over for me in case we "bone".... the fact he calls it boning is not a great start.
It was actually pretty good. His cock is as fat as the rest of him and I took out my contacts so I couldn't see him clearly.
And then he told me he was too tired for me to suck his dick. Physically and mentally too tired for me to suck his dick. What the fuck?
I can't remember much from that party after we snapchatted my dancing boobs to all of her contacts
I'm sorry, the person you're trying to reach is WAYYY too high to deal with this right now.
while he was teaching, every time he said "wet" he would look at me, that's what you get for sleeping with the professor's assistant
The date went significantly better after the fifth shot of fireball.
I was intimate with him for twenty minutes and will be intimate with shame for twenty years.
All I remember is receiving a lap dance to slow motion.
That was a beautiful concert to sleep through ...
I know - Don't let me take drugs from strangers anymore
In other news I was masturbating last night and came really fucking hard to the thought of yelling at a customer....
He told me that he had never gotten a blow job. I sat there for a second, then thought "I MUST FIX THIS!" It was fucking fantastic.
I may have been bent over an elementary school lunch table a few weeks ago. Don't judge.
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