Doug is wearing your sports bra fyi
Yo I charged a $20 breakfast to ur room, will pay u back in liquor and schoolgirl panties, thx again for a fun time
you threw up in thedumpster behind red robin
and kept yelling "DIRTY BIRD"
Do you think there are girls out there that really do like small penis?
is there anything more depressing than unpacking condoms from your suitcase that you thought you were going to use on vacation?
im sure we could have fun without alcohol but i just dont wanna chance it...
the bartender cut u off when u asked him for his screename so u could IM him later
He threw up. He never throws up. It was like finding out superman cant fly anymore. I was so sad for him.
Just FYI, I'm breaking up with my boyfriend tonight and you need to be on call to be my first rebound bang
My Saturday dick is so much more impressive than my Tuesday dick.
So neither of us had a dollar bill and we couldnt find a straw so we spent all nite doing coke through penne pasta
I think I'm goin to jail but either way I had a blast.
Life Goals: never under any circumstances, pee in an elevator again. No matter how drunk
Soooooooo high. David tried to rinse the water droplets out of the sink for 5 minutes
If I don't wake up tomorrow you inherit my paycheck and can only spend it at cinnabon
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