Lets go to the mall and pick up some fat chicks and take them out tonight so we can be the skinny friends
It says i should accept HIV aids as my friend on facebook.We have 12 friends in common. I need new friends.
When were having sex he was mumbling some guys name. If he wasn't as hot as he is I'd be concerned.
Bring single women, or taken women who are unhappy with their relationships, or women who are happy with their relationships but have low moral standards, or women who just like to remove clothing when drunk (relationship status is unimportant for this option)
I know this is random but to this day I regret not having sex with you on that atv on the top of that mountain underneath the American flag.
he said he'd buy me TWO burritos if I took my shirt off
When i left he was drinking an entire pot of coffee out of the pot with a straw. It's safe to say he's using a personal day
I woke up wearing a lax pinnie under my shirt, a triathlon medal, and a dora backpack... I think I had fun
I need to quit being a slut. It's to the point that I got my period today and automatically I Believe I Can Fly popped into my head.
Multi-day drunkenness is to binge drinking as black diamonds are to skiing. They're tough and confusing and you hurt afterwards, but you did it and you probably got an alright story along the way.
If you walk into a place and someone says "happy birthday" while handing you a shot. You. Take. It.
For reals. He's my age and he still hangs out at his frat house & gets hammered every weekend. Idk if I'm jealous of him or if I pity him
So that guy from plenty of fish has a lightning bolt tattooed on his face. I kinda feel like I HAVE to sleep with him now.
If I hear you use the phrase "silky soft scrotum" one more time I swear to God you'll regret it
That's the 3rd negative pregnancy test this month. I'm on a roll.
Randomize
