hdsncx Gizmo asnqw toilet blanasdi
ok, stay where you are, be there soon
do you think they make "congratulations unfit mother" greeting cards?
or abortion recommendation cards.
Do you remember peeing on the wall and then yelling at us to stop looking at your dick?
I didn't think it was possible for the human body to be physically dependant on weed until I moved in with this kid
seeing an 80 year old woman puke in the bushes changes everything...
that's spring break in florida for ya
my cabbie only has one arm...this can't be safe
we did rock-paper-scissors to see who would find out if you had alcohol poisoning
Somehow she slept thru the vacuuming, people walking in and out, and the sound of constant beer bottles hitting the trash, but when someone said weed in a regular volume of voice she startled awake.
broke the door off of my fridge tryin to have a indoor rodeo
They called me at 5 AM saying they had a present for me
I consented to having my finger branded. How was your night?
You took my underwater blowjob virginity.
Dude, that was like bongs ago.
My roommate definitely just walked in on me playing the piano naked.
By piano you mean.....
Like literally a piano.
Ohhhh that's kind of embarrassing.
Yeah. I hurt his pride. But he's not over it. And by it I mean me.
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