Racial profiling caused me to miss two cabs but the third cabs the charm - he's playing Jesus Music
I wish I had more reasons to start sentences with the phrase, "Here's the thing you've got to remember about cougars ...
just had sex in his gielfriend's bed, and puked all over it. i need to get out of here.
they just tried to tell me they weren't big into drugs. A) it was the 70's. B) I've seen the pictures.
We're going to play a drinking game. It's called "Senior Year of College."
I can't stream porn because Xbox live is taking all the Internet. I thought having a male roommate would make life easier.
he fucked me so hard i could feel my pelvis shifting. like i legit feel more prepared for childirth now
I whispered "you're doing a great Job" when he was fucking me. Then high fived him.
I am gifting my birthday sex to you, but its okay because I can always just have birthday vibrator.
I think he's an actor
That's not a good enough reason to wear guy-liner
So...I maybe walked across campus last night with my life size Joe Biden cut out.
I just had drunken sex with an eagle scout behind the boy scouts of america building. what has my life come to?!
I should've negotiated that before I sat on his face.
I don't think I can get drunk, high or horny enough to even consider that
His birthday is on cinco de mayo and he doesn’t drink or like tacos. What a waste.
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