You can tell a man will be prosperous by the power of his farts- A fart that can shake the room is a voice that can change the world.
Yeah, I tried playing the "see how long he can stay inside of me" game.. And I lost.
It's hard to believe so much cum came out of such a small penis.
Everyone agrees they like your mother better drunk
I swiped a lunchable and a gatorade from my one night stand's fridge, does it count as a date now since a meal was included?
i am pretty sure she ate my hamster last night. i am thinking this because she left me a note that says she ate my hamster and my hamster is no longer in its hamster cage.
My dick was out way too much saturday not to get laid
IDK who she called, but some guy came into the party, flying drop kicked Joe said never again. She has to invite him around again.
Dave got tied up again. I'm done breaking into girls houses to cut him loose. At least before noon.
Seriously you've eaten pizza pockets for every meal for the past 4 days
Well to be fair I wasn't alive for breakfast 2 out of 4 days
I wish I saved his nudes so I could anonymously submit them to his tumblr
In case you were wondering how drunk I was last night, there was an unopened slim Jim in front of my door and I ate it.
To be honest. I have two poptarts in my jacket pockets. No one knows. I am pro stealth.
Stop recording sex noises and setting them as my ringtones. This time it was at a funeral
Does this cleavage amount say, “Fuck it, I’m over dating, let’s just fuck?”
Randomize
