I apparently took a 45 minute shower, and became best friends with his mom.
hiding in a bush to avoid a seven dollar cab ride. cabby got out a flashlight and looked for us for like an hour. help.
I wonder if i could put a dildo on my bike seat to encourage me to exercise.
We have 10 gallons of home brew. And james has an amazonian blow dart weapon that sticks in bags and the wall. Come over
Well that's another check off the sexual bucketlist of things I never wanted to experience.
Im playing the how drunk can i get before my card declines game. being single sucks. But getting drunk after work alone in fridays on a wenesday night sucks way more.
How can someone be so bad at fingering? It's such a simple concept
We were sitting outside of the building and he literally just walked up with no pants on. This is the best college ever
I was Jaeger weird. I was rolling on the floor pretending to be an Olympic gymnast and my name was Gina
Thanks for putting up with my drunk friend last night. Its all fun and games till someone pukes macaroni under your fridge.
you literally stared at me for three minutes and then said "hey this tequila isn't gonna drink itself, boss"
I'm disgusted with myself. I feel like I need 10 boxes of Summer's Eve and a baptism.
Oh and it took quite a bit of doing, but I managed to wipe my butt with the hat you left in my car
I like shiny stuff tho if that’s an emotion
My parents are being so annoying about my colon.
Randomize
