He said I came instead of I'm coming. I wonder if he noticed my state of confusion when I stopped blowing him.
Wasn't he an English major?
We had sex on a ferris wheel in canada, our relationship will never be the same
A good ear swabbing is more orgasmic than sex with him
She threw up on me during morning sex and now Im pretty sure I just saw a woman die at 7-eleven. This is way too much for a Monday morning
Stumbled into class and into a desk. When I fell my bottle broke in my backpack. I had to leave there was vodka everywhere.
It's 10AM, she's drunk blaring veggie tales and I have a paper to write you've got to be fucking kidding me
Like I feel like I use my high IQ for the wrong things
Just saw an all male dolphin threesome from underwater viewing
Well he walked in last night, yelled at me for not playing any music and started dancing.
I creeped him on fb. I'm about 90% sure I just blew him in the same tux he wore for his wedding..
sent a snap of my boobs out to my FWB his response was what happened to your other nipple ring.. how do I say it got ripped out by my other FWB last week without sounding like a slut
He watches the nature channel every time I am here. It's like a manipulation technique because baby zebras will get me every time.
There's a set of buzz lightyear wings in lost and found at work. I just need access to your roof.
I just had to explain my bite marks to my allergy doctor when she gave me my shots...You're the best <3
MANIFESTATION IS REAL AND IM GETTING LAID TONIGHT
Randomize